He Was A Has-been.

Probably best known for playing second-lead to Kevin Costner (Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves) and John Travolta (Broken Arrow), and eminently forgettable in the beguilingly important role of ‘Easily fooled security guard’ (Austin Powers: International man of mystery), Mr Christian Slater has had numerous second-chances to claim his place alongside Hollywood’s elite. Fate however has consistently Britney-ed him. (The fact that Britney’s rise was actually Mr Slater’s and that she stole it from him is a theory that begs consideration but must be kept aside, albeit temporarily, for further investigation).

Other lesser stars (and I believe, even lesser-accomplished actors) have managed to get the tills ringing (Colin Farrell included) but not Mr Slater. His has been a most baleful lot. Until now.

He returns to the screen, cast against his image of erstwhile-one-of-100-most-sexiest-American-men, as a balding employee in a corporate mammoth. A statistic bullied by hipper, hornier and more hirsute colleagues, Bob Maconel is your quintessential everyman. He considers himself an intellectual, he just wants to be left alone, and when he is, he fancies himself as shag-material for the office tramp. Only difference is he has a talking goldfish. Aha!

Now you see where we’re going? Now you see that it wasn’t desperation that prompted Mr Slater to accept the role? Now you see that it wasn’t ineptitude but unadulterated brilliance on the casting director’s part to cast Mr Slater? Do ya? Huh?

Anyway, He Was A Quiet Man is written and directed by Mr Frank A. Cappello who also wrote the regrettable Constantine. With He Was A Quiet Man, he deals with the more surreal aspects of reality. Like nursing a beautiful quadriplegic and making love to her just to reaffirm her sense of self. Thankfully, it is Ms Elisha Cuthbert who plays the role of said quadriplegic.

As the sleaze of office politics unfolds after the shootout that confines Ms Cuthbert to her wheelchair, Bob Maconel begins to wrestle with issues about his lady love and their highly unlikely future together. What’s interesting to watch is Mr Slater in a role that’s so unlike him and how he goes about doing it absolute justice. (It’s like Arnie playing Hamlet. And doing a bang-up job of it. Well, sorta.)

He Was A Quiet Man is unlikely to be Mr Slater’s comeback. However it sure as hell is an affirmation of his pedigree as an actor. And it does make for interesting viewing. Only jigger-up is the twist at the end. It’s an oft-employed tool which means you’re left with the feeling that you could definitely come up with a better ending but you’re not quite sure what it is.

Overall rating: High 6, really low 7 (like 7.00000000001.00000001)
Plot: Above 6.5 for sure (and then drops to about 5.5 at the end)
Acting: Go Christian! Go Christian!
Watch it again? Only if Ms Cuthbert asks me to. Very nicely.